Hypnosis #7: Defeated?
by Ctarsis
Summary: Has Xilite finally lost her fight?


A/N: I suggest that you either Copy/Paste this fic or download it to your computer, since I still haven't been able to fix the word wrap. If you know how, please tell me in your review. *hint hint hint* AKA, REVIEW THIS. Please. Reviewers are what make the work worthwhile :)  
  
  
  
  


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Chapter One -- Xilite

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**

It still hadn't sunk in. Still hadn't clicked. I still hadn't really gotten the fact that I'd been...defeated.

The word was bitter. It twisted in my mind, distorted my thinking, focused my entire being on it. Focusing my mind on that one word.

_Defeated._

Even when I appeared before Thchi, I still couldn't accept it.

*Finally!* Thchi exulted. *Finally trapped. Conquered. And what's that word you despise? Defeated?*

_Defeated._

I wanted to respond. Wanted to tell her no, no, I was not defeated, I was not conquered, I never would be – but I...

I was?

No! No! Impossible!

*But you did it for the Andalite,* Thchi mocked. *You did it for him. Such a heroic sacrifice. Of course, if you knew that this would be your fate, would you have done such a thing? Probably not.*

Would I have? Would I have sacrificed my freedom for him?

I, Xilite? I'd never known love before. Never cared. Never seen anything in that bond between one creature and another except weakness.

And now I saw something else. Like strength. Strength that those who did not know love – those who had never known it – could never have.

I kept my Xaralite eyes cold and unimpassioned.

I realized that I was still a Xaralite. For some reason, even that seemed to twist inside me.

The last free Xaralite. The reminder snaked through my mind. No longer free.

Doomed to a fate so much worse than theirs.

My race, destroyed. I couldn't say that they had any hope, not anymore.

I'd failed them.

My entire race – the words played their heartless tune through my head. Like the Pemalites.

We'd been much alike. At one point, we'd been equivalent in scientific discoveries and intellect. They had been wiped out, though. Wiped out by the Howlers.

The same Howlers who had aided in our doom.

The human who still lurked inside saw the irony immediately. The dog-like people and the cat-like people. Both races defeated.

Defeated!

I wanted to be defeated as a human. Killed in honor, I'd rather die a Xaralite. But defeated – what I wouldn't give to be a human then! A human, not a Xaralite! Not tainting my race!

Not a Xaralite!

I felt my body change as I willed it. Change to the human with blond hair and brilliant green eyes. Xaralite eyes.

I could not let go of those eyes. Not those brilliant eyes, the only reminder of my identity besides my memories. Not those eyes, the eyes that I had possessed all my life. Not those eyes, the eyes that had remained with me even in a morph. Not those eyes, the same eyes that had seen the doom of the Pemalites with regret, had watched my friend – I shook the thought away quickly. Didn't want that remembrance now. Didn't want the remembrance of my best friend besides Rlin. I didn't want to remember her.

Those eyes, the same eyes that had watched the def – the _end_ of the Xaralites.

_Defeat, Xilite? Is that what you were thinking? Defeat? That word that opposes every thought in your arrogant mind? Is that what you were thinking?_

My own thoughts echoed it. That horrible word.

The Xaralites. The Pemalites. Soon the humans would fall –

Then again, why would I care about the humans? They were not my people.

Not my people.

*Would you really have done such a thing, my arrogant little Xaralite?*

It took me a moment to remember her last words. My thoughts swirled like a whirlpool as I tried to swim to the memory.

She was asking me if I'd have given up my freedom if I'd known what I was doing. I'd made up my mind to be silent. Although that same mind was screaming at me to speak, to be defiant, to fight her.

No. No. A weaker creature would have spoken, would not have been able to contain the tragedy they'd fallen to.

I am many things. Arrogant and defiant are two of the milder adjectives for me – neither of them wonderful things. But I am not weak.

At least, I hope I'm not.

I maintained my silence as the evil creature taunted me. As she mocked me, as she sneered at my fate, as she ridiculed my blindness (was it truly for myself that I had been so blind?), as she derided my very silence.

*Oh yes, your Andalite has lived. Tell me, Xilite, do you truly love him or is he simply a tool to you? A tool that you will one day use to strike at the Andalites in revenge for your people?*

She wanted me to speak, wanted me to scream in rage and hate and _weakness._ After all, rage and hate are emotions of the weak.

*Slavery, Xilite, that's what you're doomed to. To be a slave of the creature you refused to unite with. To be forced to serve ME! ME! Thchi, the greatest evil of the universe! ME!*

Her wild laughter filled the void, empty white expanse. She was...not insane. But passionate. Passionate in her taunts, in her emotions. She had little self-control – was that it? She had the need to boast of her accomplishments – to boast of what she was.

To boast of being evil.

To boast of succeeding at what she'd tried.

I believe that everyone has a choice. If Thchi wanted to, she could renounce her way of life. But she didn't want to.

She was confident of succeeding at this. Sure of her power.

Blinded by her power, perhaps? I hoped so.

We were opposites, her and I. She was passionate, hating, raging, furious, easily losing self-control. The emotions may have dwelt in me at times, but I could overpower them as I wished. She had no wish to. I was cold, controlled, self-possessed. When I failed in that, I had at least tried.

If I was so cold, controlled, self-possessed, what on Xarila (on Earth? Perhaps that was a better phrase. Xarila didn't even exist anymore!) had made me do..._this_?

_You didn't know this would happen,_ I told myself. _That's all._

Was Thchi right? Would I have left Ax to be infested if I'd known that I'd lose my freedom?

That logical, razor-sharp part of my mind that would do anything to win – would it have allowed me to?

What would have won? Mind or heart?

So many questions and no way to answer them. No point in answering them. My fate was...my fate. It was already determined.

It didn't matter what I would have done.

Her laughter was still echoing through a place without walls. I wondered what scientific principle allowed such a thing. Even Thchi was bound by some form of science. Being a scientist in past years, I knew that she would have had to have been. No one can live without some form of it unless he/she/it is all-powerful.

My thoughts drifted for a moment to the God of the Xaralites. All-powerful. I wondered what it would be like to have no boundaries, no rules.

Thchi's laughter took on a note of crazed insanity now. Her snake body shaking, her cobra head quivering, her eyes closed and her forked tongue exposed, she looked much like a cartoon snake in some silly human movie. She didn't look real.

But she was.

*Yes, my little Xaralite, you're mine now. MINE! You are nothing more than a tool to me!*

I wanted to respond. But I was silent, my eyes still arrogant. My human hair shimmered as I brushed it out of my face.

I would not be defeated a Xaralite.

**

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Chapter Two – Thchi

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**

I watched her out of the corner of my eye. It bothered me that her eyes were still defiant. No one should be so untouchable.

She looked too calm. Far too calm. Not even a hint of fear. Of course, I knew this Xaralite. I would never be able to tell her true feelings beneath whatever mask she assumed.

The thought enraged me. I was Thchi! THCHI! No one should be able to hide anything from me, ever!

I was Thchi! How dare she defy me? How dare she look up at me? How dare she even meet my eyes?

How _dare_ she preserve that defiant look?

How dare she?

How dare she?

The thoughts beat a rhythm in my head. A wild rhythm. It filled me, told me that I was right, I was Thchi, I was unable to be defied, I was invincible, and she was nothing.

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, being what I am. But there is no time for doubts. I made my choice, be it correct or incorrect.

Still, I wonder.

I stopped laughing suddenly and looked down. *Poor little Xilite,* I mocked. *You lost the war for your race, did you not?*

A slight shudder ran through her body. I smiled a snake smile. I'd found the correct button to push.

*Shouldn't have trusted the Andalites, should you?* I continued, noting with pleasure that her human face was ashen. *You were the captain, hmmm? You were in charge.*

She said nothing. Fire flamed up inside of me. I didn't bother to restrain it.

*YOUR FAULT, XILITE!* I shrieked. *YOUR FAULT! YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CREW! YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE _little children in the habitation ship_, weren't you?* My voice had dropped suddenly, dropped to little more than a whisper.

Her face was no longer retained any color. She was whiter than anything I'd ever seen.

*And where are they now? Duplicated. Little children preserved in _celaai_ tubes. Your race – beaten. Destroyed.* I swept my face down until it was almost touching hers. My single eye was as large as her body. *Defeated.*

I saw her human fist clench. A twitch ran through her.

And still she met my gaze.

No word escaped her mouth. But her skin was almost translucent now.

I could see the veins inside her human body. I could see her jaw – set, firm, angry. Her teeth, gritted against any sign of emotion.

_Ah,_ I thought. _Not so untouchable after all._

*Does the guilt overwhelm you, Xilite? Do you feel it eat away inside you? Do you feel almost nauseous in your pitiful human body? Do you realize how weak you are – both as a Xaralite and a human? How weak it was to lead your entire ship into defeat? The entire fleet? The entire _race_?*

I wanted a reaction. And her face itself showed no emotion except paleness. It was rapidly whitening.

*You don't feel guilt?* I said, switching tactics. *You don't care for them? Don't care for Rlin? Don't care for your race?*

Her mouth started to open. It closed so suddenly that I wondered if I had merely imagined it.

*Or are you just too ashamed to speak?* I taunted. *Too ashamed even to face me in Xaralite form? How pitiful. Too ashamed to stand before me in any form except the one you've merited – a weak human? How fitting. Unwilling to shame your race – or did you forget that you're the only one left?*

I saw her reel back slightly. Then she straightened, the color returned to her face.

I was infuriated.

*YOU DARE STAND BEFORE ME?!* I shrieked. *I AM THCHI! THCHI! THCHI!*

She smiled in a way that somehow seemed insolent and pitying, sorrowful and elated, a paradoxical smile.

*YOU DARE! YOU DARE!*

I let out a loud scream of rage. My long, slithering body slammed against the floor in an expression of fury.

I wanted her to speak! Speak, even if only to mock me! Just to have her speak!

She said nothing.

Her luminous eyes stared into mine. I held her gaze, calming myself. I was Thchi, after all! No one could stand before me!

The silence stretched, broken only by the human heartbeat. The slight sounds of the respiratory system's breathing. The rattling of my own tail.

She said nothing.

Nothing.

**

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Chapter Three – Jake

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**

[Where are they?!] Tobias practically shrieked.

The five of us were waiting in the classroom. That was the entrance they'd use – or at least return to, anyway. And still we had seen nothing.

Guilt weighed me down. I'd let Ax go back. I'd left Xilite down there. Were they both dead? Was Xilite dead and Ax infested?

"What were you thinking, letting Ax go back down there?!" Marco yelled.

I froze. The question was addressed to me and I had no clue how to answer it.

"Xilite, dead, we can handle that," he continued. "But if Ax is infested, we're all dead! Or worse!"

Marco might be my best friend, but he was definitely not acting friendly. I didn't know how to respond. Didn't know what to say.

"So what do we do, oh fearless leader?!" he roared. "We just sit here and wait for them to send an army of Hork-Bajir after us?! Go home and wait for them to come?! Run away and let them infest our families?!"

TAP TAP TAP.

"Ax!" Cassie yelped. I almost fainted from relief.

[Let me in.]

Something in his voice set off alarms in my head. I opened the window and stepped back as he fluttered in.

"Where is Xilite?" Rachel demanded.

[I do not know,] he said, sounding like he was gritting his teeth. [She...could be dead. Or perhaps worse.]

"She can't be infested!" Cassie blurted. "Can she?!"

[No.]

There was a silence. A terrible, agonizing silence. Then he spoke again. [She paid a price for our escape.]

"What?"

[I am not clear as to what happened. But it seems that this...Thchi...that she spoke of has captured her. Somehow.]

"Xilite?" I said blankly. I could see similar emotions crossing the others' faces. Xilite, captured? Her?

How could anyone capture her?

[Yes,] he gasped, voice almost a whisper.

Then he turned and flew out the window.

[I'll follow –] Tobias began.

Cassie shook her head sadly. "No, Tobias. It won't do any good. Leave him alone for a while."

Realization dawned on Marco's face as he spoke slowly. "You mean she...Ax and Xilite?"

It was a new thought to me as well. I guess I hadn't thought that Xilite would care about anyone. But Cassie was nodding slightly at Marco's comment.

Rachel looked less surprised than the others. She was the first to recover. "We have to do something."

"Nothing we can do," Marco jumped in. "Xilite spoke as though Thchi was extremely powerful, back on that weird planet. More than the Ellimist. More than Crayak."

"So we just let it happen?"

"It's already happened," I said rather harshly. "Deal with it."

Cassie looked surprised and shocked, like she wouldn't have expected _me_ to say it. Rachel just looked mad.

"She was a friend, Jake," Rachel said testily.

"Some friend!" Marco exploded. "She was controlling us!"

"Yeah, well, she is a friend now," Rachel spat. "And we can't just ignore it."

[Nothing we can do,] Tobias said.

Rachel looked displeased. Extremely displeased. She put her hands on her hips and glared from me to Marco to Tobias.

Cassie looked thoughtful. Then she shrugged. "We should go find Ax."

"Cassie," Rachel said in surprise.

"They're right, Rachel," she said softly. "There is nothing we can do about it."

Rachel shrugged in frustration and rapidly began morphing to bird. "Whateveeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," she said, lips hardening into a beak as she spoke.

I morphed my peregrine falcon, Cassie morphed her osprey, Marco morphed _his_ osprey, and we all flapped out.

[If we find Ax, it's definitely going to be interesting,] Marco commented.

I wondered if I was the only one who'd heard. No one else responded.

**

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Chapter Four – Xilite

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**

Alone. So alone. Finally with relief from that vile snake, the destroyer of my dreams.

_Smart, Xilite. Wallow in self-pity. You're such a human sometimes._

I jerked from the thoughts, the voice inside me. Human. Just how "human" had I become?

_I love you, Xilite._ His voice wafted into my thoughts, a welcome change from my own.

_Why now?_ I cried silently. _Why, when I finally knew that you cared...why now?_

I felt as though I should remain standing. Not lose my guard for an instant. But all I wanted at that moment was to sink to the ground and bury my head in my hands.

_Selfish. You're so selfish. You've led an entire race into destruction, left them there, and your greatest regret is leaving an Andalite you've grown to love?_

Tears. I felt them struggling to flow down my cheeks. I pushed them away. Not now! Even if only to prove that I was strong. Even if only to prove that I still had my own reservoir of strength, no matter how much Thchi took from me.

The tragedy of it all. I snorted. So much like some stupid human movie. Like something some idiot human author would write.

But this was reality. My fate was reality. The fact that these tears were trying to break free and burst my last tiny bubble of strength was reality.

I still had strength. Still had arrogance.

I felt empty.

I smoothed my blond hair out of my face. _Lord, please, don't let this happen._

My own thoughts startled me. I hadn't prayed since I'd become a captain. I'd always done everything on my own. Never thought I needed this God.

_Yeah, right, Xilite. You led your race into destruction – but you don't need anyone else! You're in the grip of some vile snake – but you don't need anyone else!_

I felt a barrier break within me. These thoughts were...as brutal as they were...correct. I _had_ led my race into destruction. I _was_ captured. There was nothing left for me.

Nothing left except this.

_Please, God, if You exist, don't let this happen. I don't want to be like this. Such a failure. I've failed everyone. I'm so lost..._

I shook my head. What was I doing?

Somehow I felt my store of strength grow. Was...was my prayer truly heard?

Weakness. The word snapped into my mind like a bolt of lightning. Was this prayer weakness?

_You call yourself strong, Xilite? You really imagine that you can be strong by yourself?_

Fortunately or unfortunately, my little reverie didn't last long. Thchi appeared quite suddenly.

I didn't know whether I was upset or happy. I am the serious type, yes, but I didn't like thinking of myself as emotional. No matter how emotional I'd been lately.

I steeled my expression and turned, very calmly, to face her.

*You have to speak someday,* she purred. I raised an eyebrow in silence.

_Calm, Xilite, calm. You've failed everyone. Don't fail yourself._

My own thoughts seemed to suffocate me. I gasped slightly, struggling not to let the emotion show on my face.

Thchi noted the heave of my chest and my set jaw. *Illusion, Xilite. Your strength is an illusion. You are nothing to me. I am Thchi! I am mighty, indestructible Thchi!*

I extended my hand in front of me and examined my human nails.

A roar exploded – into? from? – the entire white "room." Thchi slammed her body down on the floor and slithered up to me. She hissed in my face, her mammoth face filling my vision, her fangs as large as I, her red mouth more than able to contain me.

I saw all this out of the corner of my eye. I was busy occupying myself with the fact that I'd chipped a nail somehow.

*XILITE!* she screamed. Her snake tongue darted out of her mouth, stopping mere inches from my face. I felt a shudder go through my body.

*Yes, I can kill you!* she shrieked with insane laughter. *I can yank you into my mouth and rip you to shreds! YOU DARE DEFY ME!*

This snake was fixated on anti-defiance.

My mind was torn between keeping up this strength, ignoring her – and looking up and screaming.

I felt the panic grow as she wrapped huge, massive coils around me. These coils formed a wall more than five hundred feet above me. Her huge head peered down from there.

I wanted to throw myself on the ground and beg for mercy. Wanted to scream "No! No! I'll speak!" Wanted to yell and cry and shriek in sheer terror. That was what the human wanted.

But I said nothing.

I did not acknowledge her presence at all.

The Xaralite inside me wanted to speak simply to challenge her. To slash her snake body with my claws. To change forms again (if that was possible – how had I done it in the first place?) and do what damage I could. However, that would be fatal.

I did nothing.

My mind, that razor-sharp knife blade inside me saw the path ahead. Silence. Utter silence. Utter defiance. Utter indifference. Utter imperturbability.

Suddenly her head closed off the little path of whiteness above me. The floor beneath me, her coils around me, and her huge, mammoth, vast, titan, and also big head directly above me. As in above five feet from my face. And closing.

I could feel her breath on my face. I could feel it blow back my human hair. I could feel her tightening her coils so that I had mere inches of room.

I felt like I was suffocating. Like I had no air in my lungs at all. Like I was losing my mind with terror. Like I was gasping, screaming for oxygen when really oxygen was everywhere. I had to remember that.

Slowly, the scalding panic inside cooled to indifference again. My heart was still beating rapidly, so rapidly. But I could breathe again. The world was becoming the right colors again. I was conquering that primitive, basic-survival instinct with the logic of my mind.

Thchi was not pleased.

Her breath was coming faster, scorching my face. I felt as though I was being fenced in by flames.

_Xarilians_ have more endurance than most Xaralites. We're not as afraid of fire, claustrophobia, death, etc., etc., than others. That doesn't mean we're fearless.

I like to imagine myself as fearless. But no one is fearless.

Although I'm reasonably good at concealing fear. I went from studying my nails to smoothing the slight wrinkles in my morphing outfit.

Why was she so intent on my speech?

The question darted into my mind. I analyzed it quickly.

Just for satisfaction? Or was there a deeper purpose?

I didn't have much time to think about it. Suddenly her two fangs were pressing down, one _behind_ each of my shoulders. My body was twisted back at an unnatural angle. I fought back the urge to scream in pain as my legs buckled and I sank back.

*Does the pain overwhelm you? One word, Xilite, and you'll be free of it. Resist...*

She lunged and a gash appeared down my human arm. It went limp.

I opened my mouth to scream and closed it just in time.

The pain! It shot through my frame, filled my veins with fire.

*Speak!*

To speak would be to surrender! No!

I fell to the ground. My limp arm touched the coils surrounding me. Immediately, the pain stopped. I regained control of my arm.

She laughed. *Oh, yes, I can heal the pain I give. But not until you speak!*

The agony smothered me again. It coursed through me. My blood – flowing from the deep cut on my arm – was turning to a blaze, from red to orange. Orange, the color of fire...

*Is it not worth surrender to speak?*

She was trying to trick me now. Wanted me to say "Nothing is worth surrender." I clamped my teeth together against any sound, even the inhuman – I was in a human body, after all, not a Xaralite body – noises of pain threatening to erupt.

Silent screams filled my mind. But only thoughts. I would not allow one to escape me. Would not allow her the satisfaction.

So I screamed inside.

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhh!_

The pain!

*Too strong, Xilite? Maybe a few hours of this will change your mind...*

_No! No! No! Just speak! It doesn't matter why she wants you to! Just speak! Speak and end this pain!_

_No, it won't be much longer now,_ my dying brain realized. _Too much blood loss. Die...soon... _

Yet, even as I felt my brain shutting down, I felt life returning to my body. I felt the arm that still lay against Thchi's coils acting as a link to the rest of my body, pumping in new blood.

*Oh, no, Xilite. You won't die just yet.* Thchi's maniacal laughter floated around me, closed me in. *Not until I'm through with you. And I haven't even begun.*

**

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Chapter Five – Thchi

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**

I was tiring of my little game very quickly. If only she would speak!

I whipped my head forward and locked my fangs on her other arm. I left them there, pumping venom into her system.

That arm fell limp.

Both arms were now useless. And still she said nothing. I could see her turning whiter, whiter, whiter with pain. Her face was pale, her lips were pressed into a thin line, one arm lay against my coils and another across her forehead.

How could anyone endure this much pain without uttering a single sound?

*I tire of this quickly, Xilite,* I said finally, sneering as I spoke. The very tip of my tail – not trapped beneath me – struck her hard. She writhed in pain, then was still. *Speak. One word, Xilite, simply speak.*

No emotion showed on her face now. It was colorless. Her long hair looked strangely dark when contrasted with the pallor of her skin. Her arm, the one which lay across her forehead, also touched her hair – making her hair seemed almost black instead of the golden color it naturally had.

Her eyelids drooped, her brain losing the strength to keep them open.

No, no, no. It was not time for her to die. I send a burst of power into her body, just enough to keep her alive. The veins and arteries were replenished with blood. Color returned to her paper-white face.

Her eyes closed all the way. But she was breathing.

*SPEAK!* I screamed. Her body rocked from the sound waves.

Still, nothing!

I shrieked in fury, most displeased. Beyond displeased.

What strange strength empowered her to remain silent? What did it gain her? There was no way that she could know my motives. And even if she did, _how could she remain silent_? How was it possible, in the face of such pain, to maintain such a resolution?

Even I, with all my power, did not understand it.

*Speak, Xilite. I don't know how you've resisted me this long, but you will not be able to remain silent at this next trial.*

I studied her motionless form. She was unconscious.

I slashed at her with the slight blade on my tail. A shallow cut opened on her leg. Her eyes flew open.

*Speak, Xilite,* I repeated calmly. *I don't know how you've resisted me this long, but you will not be able to remain silent at this next trial.*

An arrogant smile tinged her lips. She struggled to her feet.

I was amazed at her strength.

I sneered in contempt. *You think you're ready for anything, don't you, Xilite? You'll never be ready for this.*

I suddenly activated a hologram. If this didn't work, nothing would.

The Andalite's face appeared. Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthil.

She gasped slightly. I smiled my snake smile. Progress.

[Sickening Xaralite,] he spat. [Imagining that I would ever care for her.]

The hologram zoomed back, revealing him standing before the Animorphs.

Xilite's face was stricken. But then, gradually, a smile appeared.

She was figuring out my trick. Figuring out that I'd programmed the hologram. Figuring out that it was not a real image, that it hadn't actually happened.

"You imagine that I'd believe that?" she snorted aloud.

I laughed ferociously.

Now her eyes were horrified. She backed away slightly. Her weak form leaned against my coils.

She jerked away as though they were coils of fire.

I kept laughing. I had proven my superiority. I had aced the final test.

I had gained my warrior.

With every laugh her face paled. *Afraid of me now, Xilite?* I laughed. *Afraid of me now? I did have a motive for your speech. I'm sure you gathered that.*

But her face was beginning to become calm. Her eyes were losing the horrified expression. But oh, they'd regain it in a moment.

Did she truly think that all was over?

*I have beaten you,* I taunted. *You have lost. For the third time.*

Xilite's jaw was set. Her eyes were flames. But she was silent.

*Oh, you can speak now. It's too late.*

"Yes, mas –" She cut herself off. A wild look of anger and fury was evident.

"No!" she gasped. I laughed again.

She stiffened. Her face was calm. Only a shadow of anger lurked in her eyes, evidence that Xilite still inhabited that body.

The body that was now mine.

*Welcome to my side, Xilite,* I mocked.

"I serve you, oh Thchi," she said with a bow. Her form began to freeze as the true Xilite fought back. But she was not strong enough to overpower me.

*This is what it feels like to be a host, Xilite,* I informed her. *Only there's no escape from this. I'll live inside you forever. And all because you cared about that Andalite.*

Her body shuddered. I could feel resistance. But that was of no consequence.

I paused a moment in my taunts to watch her eyes. They were wild, inflamed. I would never gain control of her eyes. No, Xilite was strong enough to keep me from them.

Even that incensed me. I should have full control!

But I did. I had full control of her body, of her power. But the simple fact that she still had control of her eyes enraged me.

Her body began to change to Xaralite.

*Face me in your true form, Xilite. Face the fact that you have lost as a _Xaralite._ Tainted your race. Oh, I forgot, you're the last of your race. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Nothing but a failure, as a Xaralite or a human.*

Her features were melting into those of a Xaralite when suddenly the changes reversed.

*NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!* I screamed. *NOOOO!*

The claws shifted to fingernails. Her sharp, pointed teeth dulled.

*NOOOOOOOOOO!*

_That form is off-limits, Thchi,_ she growled. Even as I had control of her body, she had the ability to communicate with me through that same link.

*You can't resist me!* I shrieked. *You CAN'T RESIST ME!*

_Maybe not._

I was shaking with rage. First her eyes, now this!

*Oh, I promise you'll suffer for this!* I yelled. *You'll suffer so much your spirit will be broken!*

_Were you ever able to break it?_

I slammed my upper body down inches from her. I raised only my head and coiled that part of me slowly around her.

*You are my slave, Xilite. Mine to command.*

"Yes, great Thchi."

Her lips contracted as they formed the words. Her eyes blazed. But the true Xilite was losing control. The fight had weakened her.

Already the gashes on her arms were gone. Her body was unscathed.

She had gained nothing from the battle. But she had lost everything she held so dear.

Delight rose in me. At long last, I'd subdued her.

So she retained slight control. That would fade. It would fade as she became more and more exhausted with this war.

I had so much more power than she could ever hope for!

She could never resist me! At least, she could not for long. And even now, she only held slight control. I would conquer her!

No, I _had_ conquered her. She was mine to control.

Finally, I'd conquered her.

She was defeated.

**

* * *

Chapter Six – Ax

* * *

**

I swept my wings back and dove toward the forest. I wanted nothing more than to leave the memories behind.

What had happened to her? How had this Thchi conquered her?

How was it possible?

She had wanted us, the Animorphs, to have the impression that she was invincible. The impression that she could not be defeated. And somehow, we'd gotten it.

Even when we knew that she, as captain of the fleet, had lost, the image of invincibility still remained.

How could she be defeated?

I plunged into the forest, the green, leafy canopy hiding the blue dome from view.

Just before I slammed into a tree, the northern harrier mind took control. I missed it by centimeters.

I didn't care.

[No!] I yelled. [Where is she?!]

Impossible! She couldn't be defeated! Not Xilite. She'd come so close to death and she'd escaped. She'd come close to dying on that vile world where the Xaralites were held prisoner; she'd almost died in the battle between her forces and the forces of so many other races; she'd almost died on Earth, fighting with us – and she'd made it. How could her time run out now?

Just when we'd finally admitted it to each other. Why then? Why then, when we'd both realized what was happening between us? Why then?

[Hello, Ax.]

I heard her voice in my head.

Relief flooded me. [Xilite!]

She laughed. Immediately I sensed that something was wrong. [Yes, Ax, it's me. It's me.]

I braked and landed gently on the ground. I cocked my head and stared up at the northern harrier above me. She was coming in for a landing.

Her talons were extended, as though she was ready to grip a branch.

Or snatch a mouse to its doom.

Despite my suspicion at her laugh, joy surged through me. She was alive. Free.

I expected her to retract her talons after a moment. Or at least to shift directions slightly.

But she continued on that path. Straight for me.

Talons extended.

I noticed the harrier body twitching wildly. But she was definitely going in a straight line.

On instinct I hopped out of the way.

She hit the ground hard, talons still extended.

[Xilite, what –]

[Sorry. I'm not used to this harrier body.] She laughed again, lightly, as she freed herself from the ground. Her talons had been plunged into the mud.

Something was missing. Something in her manner was wrong. Too wrong.

[What happened? One minute we were in the Yeerk pool, the next we were in the woods behind Cassie's barn, the next you were gone –]

[Thchi is too arrogant,] she said, laughing yet again. A hint of cruelty inside her laugh. Not at all like Xilite in the past.

[She imagined that she could trap me. Conquer ME!]

The words...the meaning was what Xilite would have said. But something was amiss. Something in her tone – something in her words, even –

What...

[Where are the others?]

[I am not sure,] I said rather coolly. I watched her with my keen harrier eyes.

She flapped her wings slightly. [Let's find them.]

[Perhaps –] I hesitated. Something about her made me uneasy. Like I shouldn't be near her. Like I shouldn't be in her sight. Like I was in danger.

[Come on!] she said with a little more of a Xilite-like laugh. A little bit more lighthearted. A little less cruel.

I paused just one more moment, then laughed with her and flapped my wings until I rose into the air. She followed.

[I was worried about you,] I said softly.

She flew a little bit higher. Just so she was directly above me.

Wild laughter, insane laughter, filled the air.

[Oh, I think I'd be worried about yourself right about now.]

Pain!

Pain shot through me! I screamed in agony as her talons dug into my body, severing my flesh, slicing through to the harrier's vital organs.

[Die, Andalite!]

Not Xilite! This was not Xilite!

[You really think that I'd let you live? The only one who could resist me? You imagine that I'd allow such a foe to live?]

I gasped, partly from the pain and partly from the shock.

[Did I play my part well? Did I convince you that I was just some innocent, kind-hearted fool? Did my lies really fool you? Did you truly believe that I cared? That I would _ever_ care about an Andalite? Or anyone else, for that matter?]

[You're lying!] I yelled hoarsely, unable to believe her words.

[Would I truly do _**this**_ if I was lying?]

With that, she closed her left talon around my neck. Her other talon remained dug deep into the skin of my back.

I was suffocating!

Red dots exploded in front of my eyes. The sky and its clouds blurred. The forest below...or was it above...or beside...where...

[Die, fool! And rest assured that this will one day be the fate of your entire race!]

I blinked. The ocean below me swirled. Had we flown that far?

[You...aren't...]

[I'm not WHAT, Andalite?! Did I play my part so well that you're unable to see the Xilite you knew at first? Did I really do that well?] Cruel laughter swelled through her. [I've always been an excellent actress. Perhaps my hate helped me. Oh, it was a challenge to disguise, but I did it, didn't I?]

My vision was darkening. Haze filled my brain. My wings were limp.

[Die! Die in the very ocean I almost killed you in! Do you know how much effort it took to resist the urge to annihilate you then?! Do you know how much I wanted to rip you open during that race?! But no! I waited! And how my wait has paid off!]

She was telling the truth, I realized. This was Xilite.

No!

Better to die at the hands of the Yeerks than die like this! Not by her, this was impossible, it couldn't be happening!

How could I have been so mistaken? How could she be so different than the person she'd pretended to be?

She yelled in fury as she struggled to pull her talon out of my back. I screamed as she finally did, tearing flesh with her. Her other talon released its hold on my neck.

I fell. Fell – I don't know how far. Plummeted to the ocean, plunged deep into its waters.

Blood suffused the waters. My blood.

I couldn't see anything now. I don't know if it was from the black of the ocean or from the cloud of death.

Only one thought occupied my mind...

Sleep...

[Goodbye, Andalite!] her voice crowed from the sky above.

_Xilite...you played your part well,_ I wanted to say as I lost consciousness – or worse. I couldn't make sense of anything. _I was in love with the person you pretended to be._

**

* * *

Chapter Seven – Tobias

* * *

**

[We have to find him,] Jake said tersely. [I can't believe he just flew off like that!]

[Where could he be?!] I shouted. I was panicked for him, and I get snappish when I'm panicked.

[Like we know?!] Marco yelled. [He's your – what's that stupid Andalite word?! _Shorm_? Why don't you just tell us?!]

I flapped my wings harder. [I don't know where he is, okay?!]

[Marco, Tobias! Stop it!] Jake ordered. [We have other problems!]

[Oh, gee, I hadn't considered that!] Marco shot back. [You have any brilliant ideas, General?!]

We'd waited for a long time at Cassie's barn. Nothing.

We'd searched the woods. Nothing.

We'd looked at his scoop. Yeah, you guessed it: Nothing.

[Where else is there to go?!] Rachel practically shrieked, cutting Jake off in the middle of a reply. [For all we know he could be in the Yeerk pool now!]

[Wait!] Cassie cried. [Stop!]

We were floating over the forest now. Okay, not floating. We were flying as fast as we could, with as much speed as we could muster.

Speed was everything. Something inside was telling me that. That unless we went fast he'd die.

Call it intuition. Or you could just say that I assume the worst.

[What is it?] Jake demanded, flapping higher for a view of whatever it was Cassie wanted us to see.

[There! Look! To the right!]

I looked.

Two dots were above the sea. Two – I strained my hawk vision to see what they were.

[Northern harriers!] Rachel exclaimed.

[Ax! That has to be him!]

[Do the math, Tobias, there are two of them! A real northern harrier?! Xilite?!]

[Doesn't matter!] Cassie called. She'd already started flying towards them. [One of them has to be Ax!]

I broke into a dive. The thermals over the ocean are not exactly strong. And if there's one thing a dive has, it's speed.

If there was one thing we needed, it was speed. More than pessimism was telling me that now.

See, I could perceive them clearly now. It was obvious that one was attacking the other.

Crazed, unearthly, lunatic laughter floated. Thought-speak laughter. I could just barely hear it.

[Die! Die in the very ocean I almost killed you in! Do you know how much effort it took to resist the urge to annihilate you then?! Do you know how much I wanted to rip you open during that race?! But no! I waited! And how my wait has paid off!]

The other northern harrier had ceased to struggle. The killer tried to pull its talon out of the other's back.

[Aaaaaaargggghhhh!] The victim's scream split the air.

[That's Ax!] Rachel yelled. [It has to be!]

[No,] Cassie whispered. [Then the other one must be...]

[XILITE!] I roared.

Her other talon released his throat. He began to fall.

[NOOOOOOOO!] I dived, trying to get to him before –

SPUH-LOOOOOOOSHHHH!!

His body hit the foamy water and sank down, struck by a wave. Hard. I lost sight of it as it plummeted down.

[Goodbye, Andalite!] she crowed.

[Tobias! Morph dolphin and get him!] Jake shouted. [Marco! Cassie! Help Tobias!]

I was already morphing. Cassie and Marco landed in the water and began to demorph. I didn't have time to wait for them.

Speed was everything. [Aaaaaaaahhhhh!]

[Rachel!] Cassie screamed.

[Rachel!] I cried, looking up. Blood was staining her feathers. Xilite laughed again.

Rachel fought back and sliced Xilite's side.

[Aaargghhhhhhhhhh!! You'll suffer for that! I promise you, Rachel, you'll suffer for that!]

Rachel was breathing heavily. Her flying was more labored as she tried to strike again.

Jake shot for Xilite with all the speed of the peregrine. She wheeled and dived.

Deep into the ocean.

SPUH-LOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!

She hit even harder than Ax had. Her speed and momentum carried her far, far deeper.

I was fully dolphin now! I took a deep breath of oxygen, submerged, and fired my echolocation rapidly.

[I see him!] I shouted.

[Almost done morphing,] Cassie gasped. Going from one morph to another is exhausting. Especially at the speed Cassie was using.

She dived down and joined me, followed in an instant by Marco.

His limp form was rising, buoyed up because of its lighter density. I shot below it and began to rise as fast as I could. [Have to get him to the surface!]

[Oh, no, you don't.]

The killer whale was suddenly evident.

[Now where do I remember this from?] I muttered.

[David,] Cassie murmured.

[His morph. His mission,] Marco agreed. [Let's hope we make it past this one too.]

She lunged at us. I began to rise faster.

[Jake! Rachel! She morphed a killer whale!]

[We're aware of it.]

The grim voice spoke from behind us. I fired echolocation and got the picture of two killer whales.

Xilite stopped short, seeing these new foes.

[Doesn't your arrogance push you forward?] I taunted. [I thought you could handle anything, Xilite.]

[I'll have plenty of time to do it later!] she shrieked. [You'll die for your resistance to my control! You'll die for every insult you ever uttered! You'll die!]

[Xilite, what has happened to you?] Cassie pleaded. [You've lost control of yourself!]

[It's nothing of your concern. I reveal nothing to my enemies.]

[We're not enemies,] Jake said calmly. [You fought beside us.]

He was edging closer. Edging toward us, just barely.

[I have a greater goal,] she spat.

[Unnnhhhh...]

[Ax!] I cried in private thought-speak. [Demorph! Do it now!]

[Xilite...where is she...]

[DEMORPH NOW AX!] Jake screamed. He was still edging forward.

He lunged at her suddenly.

His huge form blew past me, setting off alarms in the dolphin's mind. I jerked away, thrown crazily by the path of bubbles he left behind.

[You think to defeat me!] she cried in exultation. [We'll see about that!]

She whirled and dove. I could see her on echolocation, speeding away from Jake. He was doing his best to keep up, but Xilite was going too fast!

I could feel Ax demorphing.

[Rachel! Go help Jake!]

Rachel had already started going down. Faster. Faster!

A new burst of speed!

[AAAAAAAHHHHHH!]

Jake!

They'd gone around a corner – or something. I could no longer see them on echolocation.

Rachel! Would she be okay? Would Xilite...

This was crazy! Earlier that day we'd been fighting together, and now this! My muddled brain couldn't make sense of it.

Ax had demorphed fully. He was remorphing now. Remorphing to a killer whale as well.

[No!] Marco cried. [Morph northern harrier! Everyone to bird morph!]

[We can't leave them!]

[You're not,] said a dull voice. I could see Jake, swimming slowly towards the surface. Blood was flowing from him. I could see Rachel following.

[We lost her,] Rachel growled. [Nothing we can do now.]

[Nothing except wait,] Marco said grimly. [She's not done with us.]

I could hear insane laughter below me.

I realized, with a chill, that Marco was right.

She was definitely not done with us.

**

* * *

Chapter Eight – Xilite

* * *

**

I groaned and opened my eyes. I immediately wished that I hadn't, that I'd stayed unconscious, that I'd died, for that matter.

The memories came rushing back. Memories of Ax's cries of pain. Memories of me...no, not me...telling him I never cared about him, I never would, I'd wanted to kill him for so long. Memories of my body not being my own. Memories of my trapped mind screaming. Memories of...

I could feel Thchi's presence. I couldn't let her know what I'd suffered. Couldn't let her know what she'd done to me.

I stood slowly. Her evil mind was not inside me anymore. A moment of freedom.

*I said that you would suffer for your resistance,* she sneered.

I simply raised an eyebrow. "Your torture does not slice nearly as deep as you'd hope."

She laughed. *Xilite, Xilite, Xilite. My presence inhabited your mind at that moment. I heard your screams of agony as I sliced deep inside the Andalite's little bird body. I heard your shrieks as you pleaded for his life. I felt you as you struggled to resist, only to find that each movement left you weaker. I felt you trying to slow down, if only for those cursed Animorphs to kill you. I listened to you roar in fury as I told them these had been your plans all along.* Another twisted laugh. *Admit it, it was rather torturous for you when I told them this was truly you. If they knew you were under my control, well, you'd still have friends. But you don't, do you?*

I felt a scream rise within me. I'd pleaded. I'd almost begged for his life. And I've never done that. Ever. I'd given up my pride, my arrogance in that moment. And I had accomplished nothing.

Nothing!

My life was a mockery now. My arrogance was almost – _almost_ – gone. I'd seen a taste of Thchi's power and it had hit me harder than I imagined it ever could.

But I was not conquered. Not defeated.

My own thoughts made me laugh. Was I that blind? Of course I was conquered! Of course I was defeated! Of course she'd beaten me!

I could still fight her silently, though. I could still resist her. Perhaps she'd triumphed over me physically, but my mind, my heart was still free. No matter what else happened, I could still fight. She'd never conquer my spirit, no matter how much she tried.

_God, if You exist, I've never needed you more than I will now._

I faced her. I would still be strong. I would still fight.

Thchi looked puzzled. Puzzled that I would not admit this defeat, as she saw it.

_I will never be defeated, Thchi,_ I told her silently. _No matter what you do to me, I will never be defeated._

Her gold eyes flamed. *It's pointless to deny defeat,* she hissed, as though she'd read my mind. In reality, it was probably my steel gaze, my defiant eyes.

My green eyes glittered.

I felt the strangest urge right then. It was weird. I can't describe it. But I just wanted to morph to cat or some cat morph and let the cat defy her. All I wanted was to sink into the mind of the cat and just let the feline take over. To let the cat, who did not believe in surrender, fight back. I'd had enough.

_No, Xilite,_ my voice pleaded. _You cannot surrender. You cannot give up. The rules of the game: You may be checkmated. But you never resign._

And so I held my ground as Thchi slithered towards me.

*The Animorphs hate you, you know,* she spat. *Including that Andalite.*

I felt a shudder run through my body.

*He looks on you as a murderer. The one who tried to murder him. What more do you have left, Xilite? Why would you even bother to fight? We could be allies. You could have awesome powers. There would be no need for me to control you if you voluntarily allied with me.*

"I never compromise," I said clearly. My voice rang through the expanse. "I would never ally with you. Even for my freedom."

*Would you do it for the Andalite?* Her tone was low but exulting. She thought that she could do anything to me through him.

I considered. But I knew my answer. "I have never lowered my standards for anyone. And nothing is worth doing wrong for. Nothing. Not friends, not love." I met her eyes, our gazes interlocking. "Not even Ax."

She was shocked. Her face contorted in anger. *You do not care for him much at all, do you?*

I laughed. "I have given up more for him than I ever dreamed that I would," I said coldly. "But I hold onto the standards, the lines I have set no matter what."

She slashed at me slightly with the blade on her tail. It missed me by maybe six inches. But then, she wouldn't want to injure me. *Foolish slave,* she muttered.

Suddenly I felt her again. Felt her overtake my body. Felt her push my mind away.

_Hello, Thchi,_ I sneered silently.

*Hello, slave.*

She could not read my thoughts, for that I was thankful. After all, I was still a Xaralite. Still a _Xarilian._ Still powerful, no matter what she thought.

I could feel myself evaporating. Could feel my body being transported somewhere else.

And I could feel the cat's razor sharp mind inside me. Not as powerful as it would be in a morph, but still existent.

For some strange reason, I always thought of this mind as "Kitten." Kitten did not like Thchi. Kitten did not like anyone who attempted to control her.

Come to think of it, neither did I.

Three minds. Xaralite, human, and Kitten. The Xaralite was natural. The human came from my years in human form. But Kitten?

To my knowledge, no other Xaralite has ever had a mind like that inside. True, we're a catlike people, but that doesn't mean we have a cat mind.

How had she appeared within me?

I wanted to attempt to move. Attempt to control my own body. But it would have been futile, and it would only have been a source of pleasure for Thchi.

So I waited.

Simply waited, and as I waited I began to feel a plan from her that filled me with dread.

A plan for the Animorphs.

A plan that tied in directly with Visser Three.

_No, Thchi,_ I growled. _You can't do this._

*And how do you propose to stop me?* She laughed cruelly, enjoying the agony flowing through me. *How do you propose to save your precious Andalite? Or all your little Animorph friends who currently hate you, for that matter?*

I could do nothing, I realized.

Nothing except watch.

Suddenly I shuddered. Or would have, if I'd had the ability.

This was what Cairo was going through.

_This is what hosts feel,_ I told myself. _And this is why, if I ever escape, I will fight for them. Not just as a current occupation, but because I can spare the humans this._

_And maybe, just maybe, I can free the Xaralites one day._

Inside me, a little voice laughed. Not Thchi's. My own. _Xilite, it will take a miracle for you to escape. Then you can think about them._

But it was my fault the Xaralites were captured. My fault that they were defeated.

And I would always think about them.

**

* * *

Chapter Nine – Jake

* * *

**

I was trying to study. Making a valiant effort, in fact.

Finally I slammed the book closed, whirled in my desk chair, and hurled it again the wall. It impacted with a faint crack, paused, and then slowly slid down to the floor.

_Wait a sec,_ I thought. _Books don't go crack._

"Why me?!" I demanded. The empty house made no answer, but Homer blinked his great big eyes and stared up at me.

"Woof."

I sighed and sat down on the bed beside him. He laid his head in my lap and stared off into space.

"So much for homework," I sighed. Xilite could be coming to kill us anytime, Visser Three was still trying to find us, Crayak was out there.

And I still had some stupid history test tomorrow.

I glanced at the book, still lying on the floor. I sighed again.

What had happened with Xilite, anyway? Sure, at first she'd been suspicious of us, mysterious, dark, veiled secrets lurking inside, but lately...

All just part of a plan?

All just part of her perfect plan to kill us all?

I found it hard to believe. But when compared with the old Xilite...the one who'd controlled us, used us, threatened us... It was believable.

How could she do this?

I could remember her words at one particular time...

  


> _I continued, angry. "I've lost a brother, Cat, I know what's it like, now cut the crap and tell us what you think you're doing!"_
> 
> My voice rose. "You think you can just play games with us?! You think you can endanger us, not tell us what you are, hypnotize us or whatever it is you do, have the capability to erase memories and still be one of us?! Who do you think you are?! Do you think that you're benefitting us? Do you think that you're indispensable to us? What do you think, Cat?!"
> 
> "Nah, I don't think I'm indispensable," she said smoothly. "How about this: If I have any proof that I can trust you, I'll tell you who I am and how I can do this. But if not...well...you're not indispensable to me, either."
> 
>   


I snorted. Oh, we sure weren't indispensable to her. She'd made that clear now.

I dropped my head in my hands. Not an easy thing to do when there's a dog resting his head on your lap. But I managed it.

How could we beat her?

The leader might seem like an enviable position to someone who hasn't experienced it. But when a danger, when a tremendous threat is staring you in the face, all you can think about is the fact that you're responsible for the others. The ones depending on you to lead.

I know.

I've been there.

And it looked like I was about to go there again.

"Jake! We're home!"

My parents had gone to the mall. To buy Tom his birthday present – his birthday was in a few days.

I laughed a low, bitter laugh. _Hey, I know what I can get him – the death of the Animorphs. I bet that'll be a nice birthday present for the Yeerk, won't it?_

Of course, it wasn't really the Yeerk's birthday. But it would be the Yeerk opening the presents, the Yeerk grinning and thanking everyone, the Yeerk accepting the typical birthday hugs. Tom would be trapped in a corner of his mind, stuck, unable to enjoy any bit of it.

_What kind of a birthday is that?_ I asked myself.

"Jake! Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, Mom!" I called back. "Sorry, I was distracted."

"He's always distracted lately," my dad commented. He didn't think I could hear him, but I could.

_Well, gee, Dad, maybe that's because the entire stupid planet is counting on me!_ I felt like yelling. Of course, I didn't do that.

Tom would be back from his Sharing meeting in a little while. I checked my watch. He'd be back in about twenty minutes.

Homer got up and scratched at the door. I sighed (for like the hundredth time), stood up, and opened the door for him. I trotted beside him to the back door, let him out, and walked back in to see if I could help Mom with the groceries.

"Anything I can do?"

She looked up. "Not right now," she answered kind of absently. "Thanks for asking."

I forced a smile and walked back toward my room. I opened my book and then remembered that my pen had exploded and that the page was unreadable.

"Oh. Great. Now I get to flunk the stupid test." I sighed and flopped on my bed.

RINNNNNNNNNNNG!!

"No meeting. Please, no meeting. Not now."

RINNNNNNNNNNNG!!

"Jake! Could you get the phone?!"

"I'd rather die," I muttered. "And if I pick it up, I might."

RINNNNNNNNNNNG!!

I sighed, rolled over, and grabbed the phone. "Hello?"

"Jake. Beautiful day for a picnic, wouldn't you say?" Marco's forcedly cheerful voice made me want to hurl.

"Not really."

"Cool. See you there."

I slammed the phone down on the receiver and swore under my breath. "I'll get him for this," I muttered, even though I knew it wasn't his fault.

I considered just ditching the meeting. I really did.

But I'm the leader. And the leader has to lead.

"Hey, Mom? I'm gonna go hang out with Marco."

"Excuse me? Dinner will be ready in five minutes!"

"Please? I have some really important stuff to do."

She sighed in a disgusted kind of way. "Yeah. Fine."

As I left, I hesitated a moment. I listened through the door.

"It's like he doesn't care about his family anymore," Mom sighed. "Like Marco or Cassie or whoever is more important to him than we are."

"Probably just a phase," Dad said in the same forcedly cheerful tone Marco had used.

"I don't think so," Mom contradicted. She sighed again. "I really don't. We're not priorities in his life anymore, and I guess we have to face that."

_No, Mom, I do care about my family,_ I wanted to tell her. _I do care about you guys. That's why I'm fighting this war._

I silently cursed the day we'd met Elfangor.

_Not the first time,_ I thought to myself. I grabbed my bike, hopped on, and started pedaling.

The sad thing was that Mom was right. They weren't really priorities in my life anymore.

Saving the human race was.

I pedaled faster.

**

* * *

Chapter Ten – Marco

* * *

**

"Will he just hurry up and get here!"

I paced impatiently. It had been ten minutes since I'd called Jake. I didn't like waiting.

[Prince Jake may be merely detained, or he may be in great danger,] Ax said, speaking up for the first time.

"Shut up, you Andalite freak!" I yelled. "Of course he's in great danger! You really think that Jake stopped at a cinnamon bun shop and was 'detained' there?! Not all people have so little control of themselves that they'd do that!"

I realized that I'd gone over the line. Fortunately, Ax being the nice Andalite he was, he did not snap my head off.

[There is nothing to be gained by such a pointless argument,] he said calmly, almost vacant eyes staring past me.

I found my thoughts straying as I looked at him. There was a coldness in him that I'd never seen before. An expressionlessly void face.

I reflected on how much he must have been hurt by Xilite. And Estrid, a long time ago. Was that why his eyes were so empty? Was that why they seemed to drift away?

"Marco, it's only been ten minutes," Rachel said snappishly.

"Sorry I'm late," Jake said as he threw open the door. He looked around and noted the relieved expressions.

"We were worried," Cassie said simply.

"You're the leader, you idiot, you're supposed to be –"

[Marco. The time elapsed has been a mere one sixth of an hour. I understand that this is not considered an excessively long time in human terms.]

Yeah, Ax was right. But I was mad. So it's probably a good thing that Cassie spoke up.

"What are we going to do about Xilite?" she said in her soft, calm way. "We can't just wait. We can't just sit here and hope that she doesn't come and kill us."

"What else can we do?" I said sardonically. "It's not like we have a list of options. It's not like we have enough power to kill her."

"Whatever," Rachel snorted. "We called a meeting because we're trying to figure out what we can do, you moron."

Jake held up a hand. "That's enough."

"You don't tell _me_ what's enough, Jake," Rachel shot back.

Something in her tone. Something I couldn't place.

I edged back just a step. She saw it. Cold satisfaction leaped into her blue eyes.

Blue. Not green. Not Xilite's eyes. I sighed in relief. Xilite always kept her eyes when she morphed. Why? I don't know.

"Rachel," Cassie said reproachfully.

"Shut up, Ms. Tree-Hugger."

[Rachel!]

She looked up at Tobias and glared. Just her eyes made him look away.

FWAPP!

Rachel stopped short, the quivering tail blade pressed tightly against her throat.

[Xilite.]

His voice sounded beaten. Like there was no life left in him at all.

"Get your filthy tail blade away from my throat," Rachel spat.

[Demorph.]

"To what, you Andalite freak?!"

I thought of saying, _Hey, that's my line,_ but decided against it. This wasn't the time for humor, not really.

[Demorph _now._]

Xilite glared at him with fire in her swiftly demorphing eyes.

"I thought you never surrendered," I taunted.

"I never lose!" she shrieked in a maniacal laugh. She darted backward. The tail blade followed her. "You sickening, arrogant –"

[Yes?]

"Andalite fool!"

She was demorphing, indeed. But as I saw the fur appear...

She dodged backward so fast my eyes could barely follow her. She leaped to the side and extended her claws. "Anyone want to deal with me?"

She seemed a little too hot-blooded, or at least more than she had been. Confusing. It was like she'd become a completely different person since she'd turned on us.

HROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!

I leaped backwards. The grizzly bear practically threw the door off its hinges, charged forward, and roared again.

"Hi, Rachel," Jake said calmly.

[Hi,] she said tersely.

She was barreling towards Xilite. Xilite looked amused. At the last second, she sidestepped and Rachel crashed into the wall.

"Does Visser Three really know what he's up against? A few clumsy, unintelligent humans?" Xilite asked, looking even more amused. "So terrifying. I'm surprised that you've lasted against him so long."

[Xilite, what's happened to you?] Ax asked in almost a whisper.

For a moment it was like something was trying to escape through her eyes. But it only lasted a moment.

Then, suddenly, in a wild burst, it escaped. "It's not me...please believe me..."

"What kind of idiots do you think we are?!" I shrieked.

Her eyes were calm now. "What do you mean, Marco? I must confess that I don't understand."

Suddenly Rachel hurtled forward. She hit Xilite hard and knocked her to the ground. Her claws were mere inches from her throat.

[What do I do?] she asked us in private thought-speech. [Kill her? What else can we do?]

Ax turned away. I could still see his face from an angle. There was such betrayal and agony and sadness there that it would have rent the heart of a Yeerk. But she had to die.

Or we all would.

**

* * *

Chapter Eleven – Xilite

* * *

**

_Hahaha,_ I smirked. _With you in control of this body, of course we'd lose. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really don't know much about combat, do you?_

Death. I (would have) sighed in relief. Anything was better than this.

But the look on Ax's face...

_It's not me!_ I cried silently. _I would never do this. Never, Ax, do you hear me?!_

Of course he didn't hear me.

He never would.

Quite suddenly, I vanished. Rachel's claws were already coming down to end my life. I couldn't blame her, really.

But suddenly I was gone.

The Animorphs would believe that it was some kind of Xaralite power. But I knew better. Thchi would do anything she had to to keep from dying.

Suddenly I remembered my old motto.

No, not my motto. My defiant words to a commanding officer. He'd said that since I was a female, and so young, that I would never rise to the rank of captain, or any rank higher than a novice.

Normally, Xaralites are not a _saliic_ (translation: sexist) species, but my youth was cause to doubt me. Not that I'd ever admit that.

_"I do not believe your words, Commander," I said arrogantly. "Every Xaralite has a right to succeed. Perhaps some of us do not, but we cannot be stereotyped."_

I hesitated just an instant before continuing. "I would never surrender, never back down from a challenge. I would never turn around and leave because of your assuming words. So I suggest that you wait until your theories are proven right or wrong, instead of merely presuming that you, as a superior, are perpetually correct."

I was snapped back to reality suddenly. Reality was that I was captive before a snake the size of a habitation ship.

Reality was also that I was still that girl. The defiant, arrogant (not to my credit) Xaralite who would have stood before even a ruler to state my opinions.

And it was still true.

_I would never surrender, never back down from a challenge. I would never turn around and leave..._

I had lived many lives, it seemed. That young girl, always ready for a fight. The novice warrior, determined and intelligent. The captain, the leader.

The defeated Xaralite.

_No, Xilite. Not defeated. As long as you have breath in your body, you are not yet defeated._

Where had that thought come from?

_As long as your mind is aware, is active, you are not yet defeated._

Kitten. That ever-present mind inside of mine, the mind of the cat. I smiled to myself, barely realizing that I was once again in that white expanse that served as my cell. "Cat" is an Earth animal. But we do have animals much like those on our planet.

We'd managed to save every living creature on a ship of some kind. I was grateful for that. The cat-like races dominated our planet. The Xaralites, as the most sentient beings, were at the top of the food chain – as my human friends (enemies, now?) would say. The Xaralites, however, are not predatory. We used to be, perhaps, but scientific breakthroughs have eliminated the need to kill for food. However, sometimes I wonder if Xaralites truly are the most intelligent creatures. Certainly, by scientific terms...right?

The next most intelligent creatures are the Ki. They are beautiful creatures. Almost all of them are silver, green, gold or bright white in color. They have long, silky fur, much like Persians, only sleeker and with larger eyes. They are the size of a kitten in true form, but they are able to change sizes until they are the size of a large horse. The only time they ever do this is for a close friend's protection.

After them, there are the Liakre. Liakre are about the size of a cheetah. They are the fastest creatures ever discovered in the universe. Literally. Ever faster than the Garatrons, much to their anger. Liakre have shorter hair than the Ki do. They're normally navy, silver, dark red, or dark green.

Dahc are the third species in terms of intelligence. They're also the fiercest. One of them could literally defeat three Hork-Bajir without being killed. They're all-silver, with portions of them shielded by a metallic substance.

There are many other cat-like breeds. For some reason, they are drawn to me. I've never figured out why. Maybe it has something to do with Kitten.

See, most Ki, Liakre, and Dahc dislike Xarilians. It's not known why.

What did this have to do with anything? I shook the thoughts from my mind. But beneath it lay the fact that I wondered if any of those three species could have stood against Thchi where I could not. Were they truly stronger than I? Were they stronger in the fact that they did not know surrender?

Did it matter now?

A thought struck into my mind. I paused to consider it.

I was the only one, to my knowledge, who had ever possessed this mind, this "Kitten," inside of me. And I was the only Xaralite not conquered.

_Are we forgetting about Thchi?_ a voice within me sneered.

I was the only Xaralite who had not been caught, in the end. I had advanced faster than any Xaralite before me in ranks. I had been declared a phenomenon by my own people, who could be considered a phenomenon in themselves. And now, even before Thchi, I had a slight power to resist.

_You will never be defeated._

Was it just meaningless arrogance? Was I being a sentimental fool to insist that, even though I was outwardly defeated, I would never be?

My spirit was not broken. I knew that soon Thchi would attempt to defeat me in that way. But she would never succeed.

_You have hope, Xilite. Isn't that the ultimate proof that you are not defeated?_

Even if I was ever defeated, my "Kitten" mind would never admit it. The thought almost made me smile.

But I saw truth in her words.

I felt a new thought rise within me. This one did make me smile, for what felt like the first time in forever.

Ax did love me.

He had told me that. Even if he didn't know that it was not I who was the murderess, the killer, he had loved the me he knew. He had loved me.

And he still did.

I knew that Thchi would come. I knew that she would do everything in her power to crush me. I knew that.

But I also knew that I would face her.

I had Ax. I had my memories. I had a reason to fight and I had the capability to fight her. Even if only a little, I could fight.

And I would.

I rose to my feet, knowing that I did have hope. I always would.

We will never be defeated.


End file.
